Healing From Self-Criticism and Blame Through Vulnerability

Our harsh inner voice can tell us that no one will ever love us the way we are. It can point out undesirable feelings we have, or things we’ve done to prove it’s point. This harshness within will look at these aspects of us with a humongous magnifying glass, so that’s all we’ll see about ourselves at that moment. All that’s positive about us will disappear from view, and the spotlight is glared onto that mistake or what this harsh voice labels as weakness.

When the inner critic is yelling at us (it’s voice is so darn loud!) we are convinced that no one could ever love whatever feeling or aspect of us is being put down. What’s being criticized is often our need for love and our vulnerability, To show this to anyone seems downright stupid, because we KNOW they will just reject us if we do.. So we hide those vulnerable, sensitive and needy feelings from others. It only makes sense to do that, right?

It’s the hiding those vulnerable and wounded places that reinforce us not being lovable. We don’t get to challenge those convictions, or discover that they’re lies when we keep this hidden from others…and possibly ourselves as well.

This can be a wise decision with people who have the same unprocessed wounds, since they will probably shut you down and put you down. But…there are people who are doing their work who are safe to show these vulnerable, needy and wounded places to. People who will love you right there…as you love them right there…and together you soften into appreciation of your precious vulnerability. It is in that very vulnerability that our critic is so harsh about that allows us to feel kindness and compassion for ourselves and everyone else. That kindness and compassion melts all judgements, all separation and the barriers that stand in the way of our being in the beauty of who we really are.